Monday, March 18, 2013

Justin Trudeau: I almost feel bad for him now

Less esoteric and academic this round, I promise.

In case you missed it, Justin Trudeau is effectively the new leader of the Federal Liberal Party of Canada.  Some congratulations would be in order firstly.  Love or hate le Dauphin, he works hard and from a certain perspective intelligently.  He has effectively leveraged the nascent social media landscape (nascent in the sense that Canadian politics is behind the curve), and proved he has the endurance to outlast some serious heavyweights.

Unfortunately, his campaign echoes Mitt Romney's in some respects.
Full disclosure first: I am a conservative.  My brother's wife regularly finds my views on reproductive health to be retrograde (you can do what you want, but I don't believe I should have to pay for it).  I give the benefit of the doubt to security services, and refuse to surrender more of my independence to the nebulous concept of social justice.  That said, I am in fact a potential Liberal voter.

Marc Garneau was a great answer to Prime Minister Harper.  Accomplished veteran, astronaut, intellectual heavyweight and all around decent human being, he would have been a man I could support. He happens to be my federal MP, and while he can't win a charm offensive, his calm demeanour belies a steely resolve. His withdrawal from the race does Canadians everywhere a disservice.

Martha Hall-Findlay is a top-notch thinker, and a role model for women in public service. Her fiscal acumen is unmatched, and she can face down rowdy MPs with grace and integrity. She has survived many a trial by fire, and her common-sense approach to governance has great appeal around the Wilderness Family kitchen table.

Justin Trudeau? Well, he can box. And he's kind of pretty. Oh! He's bilingual too, and he won his seat in Papineau! And... no, no. Ignore the elephants over there wearing nametags that read "Heritage" and "Complete Lack of Policy Plan". No, they're not relevant! LEAVE JUSTIN ALONE! I'M A BELIEBER! Wait... wrong Justin.

Kidding aside, Trudeau suffers from the same Achilles' Heel as poor Mitt. He was inevitable.  While, mercifully, we did not have to suffer the Cavalcade of Ludicrous Anyone-But candidates, we do have the same problem in that friendly fire has ablated most of Mr. Trudeau's electoral armour. 

Pretend for a moment that you are producing attack ads for the Infamous Conservative Attack Ad Machine (TM). Scary music, but low key. Check. Greyscale video footage of Marc Garneau politely ripping into Justin at the "debate".  Follow it up with the savage booing Martha Hall-Findlay received after raising a valid point. Quick monologue by a concerned middle-class couple, with superimposed citations of Justin's lucrative speaking fees. "Canada is facing serious challenges. We're worried about the economy. Will our Healthcare system be able to support us? Can we afford to send our kids to university? We need someone with proven experience.  We need someone who understands our challenges, and has a plan. " Flash to colour footage of Mr Harper playing hockey in front of Parliament. Him looking grave, but cheerful surrounded by world leaders. Happy immigrant couples gladhanding Jason Kenney. Voiceover by a calm and pleasant woman: "Stephen Harper protected our economy through the Recession. He has led negotiations for a free trade agreement that will produce millions of jobs.  Canada is stronger and more respected than ever, and the best is yet to come." Happy music, waving Canadian flag. Cut to Mr Harper, at a piano with Laureen and the kids. "I'm Stephen Harper, and I plan to grow Canada's economy so all Canadians can continue to enjoy peace and security from coast to coast to coast. On Election Day, vote for experience. Vote for prosperity. Vote for a plan. Vote for your local Conservative. For a True North, Strong and Free". Fin.

Couple this with a ruthless campaign of attack ads on the silly things Mr Trudeau has said (I'm looking at you, "Albertans are bad for Canada" footage), and you have a message with powerful appeal to the key voting sectors the Liberals have been haemorraging for years. Give Justin both barrels, non-stop, from the moment that Elections Canada allows it. Make a concerted campaign that allows online donations in the 20 dollar range.

You see, Justin Trudeau may dominate the Twitterverse, but he is not at the Kitchen Table. He's dangerous in the Soccer Mom demographic, but not when they're helping Daddy do the bills before they take the kids to after-school activities.  The fact that his hundreds of thousands of clicks didn't translate to 10 dollar membership fees means his support is soft. Twitter does not lend itself to long term commitments, and he let the proverbial iron cool before striking (as evidenced by his cringe-worthy request for "more time" to deal with the problem).

Narratives win elections, and Mr Trudeau's narrative is solidifying.  He is becoming yet another "messiah", and the Leadership Convention has no drama. Should it set, he will be as doomed as Michael Ignatieff, famous name or not. And yes, if I am wrong in 2015, you have my permission to grind it in my face.

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